The New Jersey Nets and “Precious”

Being a Nets fan closely resembles “Precious”. We suffer through dysfunction and brutal beatings with seemingly no end in sight. We engorge ourselves on the “potential” of the likes of Terrence Williams, Yi Jianlian, and Chris Douglas-Roberts in futile attempts to mask/numb the pain. Like Precious, to withstand the trauma of another Nets loss, we are forced to retreat to a world of fantasy and imagination when the season is over and the Nets have won the John Wall sweepstakes and sign at least two elite free agents in the Lebron, Wade, Bosh, Boozer, Joe Johnson group.

In a continuing series of unfortunate and ignominious events this year for the Nets, my personal favorite has been the misunderstood lyrics from Nets part-owner Jay-Z’s “Empire State of Mind”. In a fridge of nothing but condiments and decaying food, Jay-Z shines like a six-pack, but even he unknowingly caused great angst for Nets fans. In the second verse of “Empire State of Mind”, I had always thought it was “If Jesus paying LeBron, I’m paying Dwyane Wade.” I thought this meant, Lebron, who is becoming a basketball deity, is getting paid so much as if by Jesus himself and Jay-Z who has also made an astronomical amount of money on his own would settle for Dwyane Wade, which as a Nets fan is like eating Spam your entire life and then having the chance to dine on organic grass-feed Kobe beef. Well the truth came out and it’s about buying a kilo of cocaine.

From the article by David Cho: In Young Jeezy’s song “24-23 (Kobe-Lebron),” Jeezy uses the players’ jersey numbers to articulate the price he’s paying of a kilogram of cocaine. The chorus of that song goes, “I used to pay Kobe [24], but now I pay LeBron [23].” This means that he used to pay $24,000 for a kilo of coke, whereas now? He only pays $23,000, you see.
So. In “Empire,” Jay-Z takes this one step further, so as to show his impressive status in New York. He suggests that, while Jeezy may be paying $23,000, Jay-Z is paying a mere $3000 (expressed as Dwyane Wade’s jersey number) for a kilo of cocaine.

This is a level of disappointing news akin to finding out Santa doesn’t exist and why I had so many Uncles coming over my mom’s house late at night. I’d almost compare this information to Precious finding out she was HIV-Positive, but the Tyler Perry people already gave me the Abu Ghraib treatment for my piece about the similarities between “Meet the Browns” and Al Qaeda so I’ll stop there. Instead I’ll go to my fantasy land where the Nets have John Wall and Lebron James reeling off victories while in reality, I’m suffering through another molestation at the hands of the Milwaukee Bucks and Washington Wizards.


3 thoughts on “The New Jersey Nets and “Precious”

  1. David Cho

    I still think the Nets have a very good chance at getting LeBron, and also Bosh, as a set. The Jay-Z/New York combo is a very strong allure…

  2. calling all toasters

    You are a real party-pooper. “In a fridge of nothing but condiments and decaying food, Jay-Z shines like a six-pack” is awesome, though.

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