Check out Funkanomics’ Christmas Special
Is it advertising? Marketing? Social networking? Microblogging? What is it that we do, exactly? These days it seems as though the buzz words fly off the “About Us” pages of every ‘ad agency’ out there. And as we watch the big three media slowly shrink (radio, print, and television), we see one medium gaining more and more traction. It’s still a free for all on the web, but that means opportunities for the companies with enough pluck to get in the game. Props to Vice for setting pace with this content based initiative for Palladium Boots.
There was not a more underrated disappointing story this year than the retirement of Bill Walton. Well known his catchphrases, “Throw it down big man” and “That’s a turrible call. Turrrible,” and Grateful Dead references, Bill Walton was the most colorful and entertaining basketball commentator. I would watch random basketball games between 76ers and Bucks just to hear wonderful nuggets quoting Dalai Lama, John Fogerty, and John Wooden from the 7’0 basketball sage. He had the greatest pro athlete beard of the 70s, “But you have to understand, my beard is so nasty. I mean, it’s the only beard in the history of Western civilization that makes Bob Dylan’s beard look good.” And if that weren’t enough, check out this story from Larry Bird about Walton.
“After the Celtics won the 1986 championship, Walton sat alone in Bird’s kitchen drinking Wild Turkey until after the sun came up. I told Bird I didn’t believe the Walton story. Simply too good to be true.
“Yeah, it happened,’’ Bird said. “After we won, me and Dinah went out to K.C. Jones’s restaurant. He had a rib place. I had two beers. Remember how we stopped drinking that year?’’ – the ’86 Celtics swore off alcohol for their playoff run – “Well, I had two beers and they didn’t even taste good. I was tired, anyway, so I went home an hour later.
“Bill came over. It was late. Doorbell rang and Dinah answered and she was like, ‘Hey, Bill. Larry’s in bed.’ I heard him, so I go out and I said, ‘Hey, man I ain’t doing this tonight. I can’t.’ He goes, ‘Don’t worry about it. I don’t even need you. I’m just going to sit down here at the table.’ He had a bottle of whiskey. And he said, ‘I’ll be here when you wake up.’ And he was.
Bill Walton is simply the coolest man alive and I miss him he is no longer a consistent part of my life.
I got this video e-mailed to me and tweeted at a dozen times last week and it turned me to mush each time. Everyone I’ve met can’t shut up about it like it’s the bizarro Tiger Woods story. The Ukelele Kid (UK) playing an amazing ukelele and doing an spot on impression of Jason Mraz’s stroke-like facial expressions at the age of 4 is probably a sign of bigger things to come like Tiger putting on the Mike Douglas Show at the age of 2. I’d like to look into my crystal meth crucible to see his future.
At the age of 9, UK returns to fame when he plays at the “Surprised Cat” funeral after the cat dies from a long bout with skin cancer. At the age of 15, UK is taken under the wing of the ageless John Mayer (the master of stroke-like facial expressions) and releases an album titled, “Chinese Democracy” full of songs with suggestive song titles, like “Lost in Mountains” and “My Girlfriend’s Cat” and goes on tour opening up for the band “Magnum” featuring Britney’s kids, Jayden James and Sean Preston Federline. At age 16, UK has his own Disney show, “Dexter In Paradise” in which he is Dexter Smalls, an Asian orphan adopted by white parents and lives in Hawaii and dates Miley Cyrus’s sister. At 17, UK headlines his own tour, releases a 3D concert movie, and dates Nicole Richie’s daughter. He also does a holiday duet with Lionel Richie titled, “Christmas With My Baby”. At age 18, he releases a more grown-up sound with the album, “Bromance” where he dumps the ukelele and uses the electric guitar. At age 19, he gets in a scandal because he dumps Nicole Richie’s daughter over the phone and his friendship with John Mayer ends when Mayer sleeps with his ex-girlfriend, Miley Cyrus’s sister. At 20, UK releases his third album, “Fast Lane” which features his return to the ukelele and has a b-side cover of Oasis’ “Wonderwall”. He shows his action chops when he stars in the summer Hollywood blockbuster remake of, “Big Trouble in Little China” with Suri Cruise. There are swirling rumors that they are an item, but they say they are just close friends. To celebrate his 21st birthday, Suri buys UK a hover car which he paints neon green and 18″ chrome wheels and they are officially together. However, Lamar Odom and Khloe Kardashian’s daughter releases a sex tape with her and UK and she gets her own reality show. UK and Suri have an awful break up and Tom Cruise threatens to kick UK’s ass. UK decides to take a break and retreats to his Hawaii compound. A few years later, he releases a new album called, “Redemption”. Unfortunately, due to poor reviews and a terrible collaboration with a past-his-prime Justin Bieber, the record is a travesty. UK tries to recover as a contestant on Dancing with the Stars, but is eliminated second after the fat kid from “Modern Family. Dancing with the Stars is ultimately won by Nick Jonas. UK is last seen in the spotlight on Celebrity Rehab with Taylor Lautner, Taylor Swift, Joe Jonas, and Selena Gomez. UK writes a best-selling memoir, “The Little Boy with the Ukelele” and retires in Hawaii married to a school teacher, 3 kids, and 8 dogs and cats.
In absolutely heartbreaking news, Flight of the Conchords is not returning for a 3rd season on HBO. The band will continue to perform as New Zealand’s second best band so let’s pay homage to the brilliant supporting stars that made the show transcendent.
Real Housewife of Atlanta star Kim Zolciak performs her new single “Tardy for the Party” on the Ellen DeGeneres Show. Even the back up dancers can’t keep a straight face…
This is my favorite video of the week. The NBA. Where white commentators covering a predominantly black sport make awkwardly hilarious attempts to sound more black happens.